I feel this eternal splitting open,

Again and again, 

In regards to space, place, and location,

This climbing spiral

That circles around and around

Attachment and transition,

Rooting and uprooting

Again and again. 

Each Rotation paving the way for 

More grace,

More openness,

More sincerity,

And therefore more vulnerability and heartbreak.

Are people still calling heartbreak weakness?

I feel stronger every time my heart is broken.

Every time it is ripped open,

I sink and settle further into my skin.

And now this heartbreak.

One I didn’t anticipate. 

One I can’t articulate.

But the longing for a 

Normal day.

Here. In this place.

That, soon, won’t be mine. 

Today, it is all mine. 

I own this space.

I have earned it.

Tomorrow, I will not.

I go into the void. 

The in between.

Confused about what is mine.

Where I belong.

Where to shop.

Who to talk about.

I have been there…

Over and over again.

Holding the tension 

Between two spaces.

Until I emerge and settle in.

But just one day….

Wondering what Jim is making for dinner,

What Nayda is wearing.

Where to ride the bike.

If it will rain.